The Captain Of My Ship, The Master Of My Soul's Journal
20 most recent entries

Date:2015-03-29 14:05

I watched Interstellar last night.

Which is a curious movie that seems to divide people into the OMG THAT WAS TEH MOST AWESOME SCI FI MOVIE EVER camp, and the Dude, WTF camp.

I'm in the dude wtf camp, I thought that was an utterly stupid wretched awful dull movie of dullness.

Badly acted, the McConnananananaheh, who I love, just mumbled his way through it. And Anne Hathaway, jesus, she was awful. Again. Why does she keep getting work? I do not know.

Badly scripted. It was at least an hour too long. The script was just... terrible.

Bad special effects. I mean, they looked convincing, but I thought the design ethic was just really ugly. Everything was ugly, the ships, the robots, everything. 2001 had infinitely better special effects, and that was made, how many years ago?

Bad science. I mean, i'm no expert on physics, but this movie did not resemble any understanding I have of black holes or space travel.

Bad audio mixing. What is it with Nolan and nearly incomprehensible audio these days?

And the central resolution was just DUMB. I mean, Matthey Mconnywhatsit travels outside of space and time to live at the back of his bookcase. Urgh.

I just hated it. The only bit I enjoyed was where they were trying to dock on the wrecked spaceship in orbit after Moronic Astronaut #5 nearly destroyed the whole mission. That was quite exciting.

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Date:2015-03-27 13:07

Also, I'm not liking the way the media are playing this story about the plane crash.

'The pilot crashed the plane into the ground because he had depression.'

Is the line they are repeating, over and over and over and over.

Which... no. Depression doesn't make you murder 130+ people. Whatever was wrong with him was clearly depression and something else that made him capable of mass murder.

But, no, the narrative is that it was depression.

Which, I mean. You and I know that this is not the nature of depression, but Joe Public? Will just be shaking their heads and saying people with depression shouldn't be allowed to do certain jobs anymore.

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Date:2015-03-27 10:49

I watched the first of the so-called Leadership Debates last night.

Which was not a debate, not even close. It was instead some sort of ghastly sham where the news media and Sky get to wank all over themselves in self-importance thinking like they are the ones who get to decide the election with how god-damned self-important and defining they think their own personally hosted debates are going to be.

'It was us wot won it!' They all seem desperate to cry out.

In this era of 20 second soundbites, all these so-called journalists seem desperate to find the 20 second soundbite that will define the entire election.

And lord, Jeremy Paxman got personal with Milliband. Huge difference in the way he handled the two leaders, Cameron I thought got off very lightly, and by contrast, he got... ridiculously personal and offensive with Milliband. It's almost as if Paxman is in the Tory camp or something.

What's that? Rumours Paxman was going to stand as a Tory candidate? Surely not.

So, half of it was Paxman's ego running out of control because he's a godawful intellectual snob who wants to be famous, and the other half was two politicians giving typical politicians bullshit answers to a bunch of mostly stupid questions from the general public. 'How do you get on with your brother?' I mean, seriously? How Milliband gets on with his brother is relevant why?

And as for Paxman's sneering condescending superior little tick of 'Don't you worry that we're all thinking how much we wish it was your brother who had won the leadership contest?'

REALLY? REALLY FUCKING PAXMAN? THere are people out there in the world thinking shit, if only the other Milliband had won? That's just what we needed, Tony Blair Mk2? Is there really ANYBODY out there in the world yearning for an alternative reality where the other Milliband won?

I think not. And that was what, 5 years ago? Why is dredging up a 5 year old Labour leadership contest your major point of the evening?

Fucking bizarre.

Pointless bloody exercise.

The multi-leader 'debate' is up next I think, and that should be a splendid farce.

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Date:2015-03-25 18:12
Subject:The Clarkson Poll.

Poll #2005387 Because I'm seeing some crazy stuff being said online about the Jeremy Clarkson thing.

If you punched your immediate boss after a verbal 'fracas', what would happen?

I'd be fired after a review into what happened.
I'd be fired on the spot.
I'd get the shit kicked out of me and then fired, my boss is bigger than me.
I work for the mafia, I'd be propping up a concrete piller near here soon.
I'd be suspended for some months.
I'd be given a severe telling off.
We'd all just have a big laugh about it the next day, because men are MANLY MEN about these things.
Can I use a baseball bat instead of a punch?
It would be no big deal, we punch each other all the time.
A special exception should be made if your boss is David Cameron.
I am a preacher and my 'boss' is God, ain't no way I'm punching God, dude.
I'm self employed, and frequently punch myself in the face.
Who would have thought there would be this many options to chose from?
I'd expect to be visited by the police too.
Clarkson is a tosspot anyway.

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Date:2015-03-25 17:38

I am very amused by this Ebay auction:

Any product that your advertisement for some dried mushrooms reads 'Radiation is OKAY!' as a major selling point, does not fill me with confidence.

And... is that a mobile phone that is acting as a geiger counter there?

Yeah, I'll spend £93 on powdered brown stuff from some guy in Latvia. Apparently they have no factories in Latvia, so this powdered brown stuff is VERY CLEAN as well as OKAY for radiation.

And he grinded them with good thoughts and good energy.

... place bets now as to how likely it is this brown powder stuff is the scrapings from the inside of the powerplant from a rusting Soviet-era cruiser.

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Date:2015-03-25 15:00
Subject:On the F35 joint strike fighter.

For America’s F-35 Stealth Fighter, the Best Case Is Still … Bad

All our air-power eggs in one basket

Dan Ward, retired USAF lieutenant colonel.

Forget the enormous cost overruns.

Excuse the epic schedule delays.

Overlook the disturbing performance limitations.

Let’s assume the Pentagon somehow comes up with enough money to pay for the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter. Suppose further the F-35 eventually passes all its test and evaluation milestones and the appropriate authorities make the appropriate Initial Operational Capability and Final Operational Capability declarations.

Let’s imagine a future in which the various services have patiently waited long enough to finally take ownership of their respective fleets, totaling some 2400+ aircraft, allowing the Pentagon to retire the F-16, A-10, F-18 and AV-8. And maybe the F-15 and F-22, as well.

Let’s also assume our allies get their stealth fighters too, replacing whatever old jets they’re currently flying. While we’re on a roll, why not assume our adversaries don’t make any hostile moves that would require a JSF-based response before we’re ready, and that no new threats or technologies emerge which would render the JSF obsolete or irrelevant.

Let’s assume everything works out in JSF-land and things go as well as they possibly can.

Despite these optimistic assumptions, this best case scenario for the F-35 still contains a rather significant flaw, an elephantine turd in the proverbial punchbowl. It comes down to a single word — hypoxia.

See, the U.S. Air Force grounded its F-22 stealth fighter fleet in May 2011 because pilots were displaying strangulation-like hypoxia symptoms at a rate nine times higher than the crews of other fighter jets. The grounding lasted for four months, during which time “the most capable aircraft in the world” was unflyable.

Then the secretary of defense stepped in and lifted the grounding while establishing tight restrictions on how pilots could fly the jet — not because engineers had isolated and solved the problem, but because if the situation had lasted much longer, the pilots would have lost their certifications, leaving the Air Force with a fleet of unusable aircraft and a cadre of unqualified pilots.

That sounded like a bad idea to everyone, so officials allowed the pilots to return to flight despite the lingering problem. In February, 2012 the Air Force grounded the fleet again — for the fifth time.

The good news is that repeatedly grounding the Raptor had virtually no impact on America’s defense posture, because the jet was not relevant to the military’s operations in places like Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya — at least according to then-secretary of defense Robert Gates.

The non-impact of the F-22’s non-availability surely reveals something about the value of that particular jet, but that’s a topic for another day. Instead, let’s consider what will happen when we discover a similar flaw in the F-35, some malfunction that renders the JSF unable to fly safely … and necessitates a fleet-wide grounding or five.

The key phrases here are “when” and “fleet-wide,” although “five” is a pretty significant number as well. It may be worth noting that the groundings have already begun.

Bear in mind grounding a fleet is not unheard of — the USAF sidelined its F-15s in 2007 after one of them fell apart mid-flight. But the impact of that grounding was softened by the variety of alternative aircraft, such as the F-16 and F-18.

Things would be different in our future scenario where the F-35 is essentially the only game in town. If the F-35 gets grounded in 2030, a major portion of the Air Force, Navy and Marines would all be unflyable. So would our allies. That just might be a big deal.

The world’s air forces seem to be putting an awful lot of eggs in a single basket, and those eggs are looking pretty fragile. The likelihood of the JSF displaying a flaw similar to the F-22’s is high because the JSF is just as complex as the F-22, if not more so, and all that complexity tends to hide bugs and problems and flaws.

Complexity causes fragility, as the F-22 has so cleverly demonstrated. While the F-22 represents a small portion of America’s air power, if things go according to plan the F-35 will essentially be America’s air power.

Perhaps the truly best scenario for the Joint Strike Fighter is for it to follow in the footsteps of the F-22 and provide a combat capability that is irrelevant to actual military needs. That way, when the whole fleet gets grounded because of an unsolvable flaw, the impact on our defense posture would be nil. We’ll just use drones and A-10s and cyberpower and boots on the ground to get the job done.

But if that’s the best case scenario, can someone tell me why we’re building this thing?

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Date:2015-03-23 18:43

I feel there is a narrative starting to emerge from Labour's pig-headed refusal to accept they might have to make a coalition deal with ~somebody~ after the next general election to form a government.

As they run screaming from the possibility of making a coalition deal with the SNP, because heaven forbid they might as a result get dragged back to the Left, I just wonder if this specter they are painting of EVIL ALEX SALMOND AND THE EVIL SCOTS COMING TO RUIN THE COUNTRY WITH THEIR EVIL DEMANDS might just be setting the ground work for a Tory/Labour grand coalition.

Which would surely oversee the final dismantling of the country and the selling off of what is left of value to private companies.

Saving the Union and the Country from Alex Salmond! Grand coalition in the nations interests! No opposition to passing the most draconian and brutal laws imaginable!

It would be the end of the Labour party I think, why would anybody ever vote Labour again if it meant you just get the Tories. And I think also, the final nail in the coffin of the democratic process. WIth whatever chaos that results in.

Dangerous times. It's a scary thing, this idea of a Lab/Con deal.

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Date:2015-03-20 14:11
Subject:9 reasons why self-publishing needs to die in a fire.

Some actual self-published Kindle novel covers...

You can click on the thumbnails to experience the TRUE HORROR.


The part that baffles me more is that apparently Senior Sex 1 and 2 sold enough copies to warrent a third installment.


A perfect match for a less than perfect copy/paste maneuver in photoshop.


This, really... just speaks for itself.

But... You're a horse?


Okay this one you need to click to see the full sized version of, because CHECK OUT THE FRICKING OTTER!

It almost distracts from the sheer horror of the rest of the cover.



Okay so presumably you've spent more than 2 minutes assembling your self published novel? So why spend two minutes whapping some clipart on top of some space pasta for your cover?


AKA: The Savage Fringe Of Isis.


I... wha.... buh.... huh?





... I feel kind of sorry for the poor bastard whose face got photoshopped into this monstrosity.

... unless it's a self portrait.

In which case. As Nelson might say, HA HA.


Pounded. By the biker rainbow. Come to life. By Maximum Wood.

First time gay paranormal taboo.

Yes. Because man/rainbow is such a taboo in our society.

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Date:2015-03-20 11:44

Also, I'm very amused that amidst the tweeting frenzy that has been the solar eclipse today, by far and away the most retweeted image of the eclipse is an alleged photograph of the eclipse taken from the ISS.

Problem being, it's a painting by a Japanese artist from 2009 and depicts a physically impossible scene.

But this hasn't stopped it being the most retweeted image by the twitterverse.

I despair of the internet sometimes. I really do.

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Date:2015-03-20 11:42

So a UKIP MEP has been caught with her chief advisor arguing over getting a restaurant bill bumped up from £900 to £3000 so that they could get the receipt and claim it on expenses and make a nice little two grand profit.

I'm reminded of the estimated 2.5 million in EU money that Farage has claimed in his time for expenses as an MEP.

I suppose it answers the question of 'why on earth would any woman be involved in UKIP', because it seems like the answer is 'because they are fraudsters and they've spotted a quick way to make a buck'.

This is the same UKIP MEP lady, Janice Atkinson, who got in trouble a while ago for describing a Thai constituent as a 'ting-tong'.

So. Racist fraudster too. And too dumb to be able to hide it from the media.

Stupid racist fraudster.


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Date:2015-03-19 18:10


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Date:2015-03-19 18:01
Subject:The Good.

Saw these, think they're beautiful.


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Date:2015-03-19 12:54

Something interesting has happened with the Greek situation. With this period of time where they've been limping on in this, will-they won't-they exit the Euro state, the big investment banks have been dumping Greek Debt off their books, and most of that debt has now been picked up by the IMF and such bodies. So the debt has shifted from the banks, onto the taxpayers.

... this sound familiar?

And now that process has happened, everybody seems a lot more relaxed about the idea of Greece leaving the Euro and going bankrupt. And the taxpayer taking the losses, instead of the banks...

So. I think by the end of the year, Greek has left the Euro, gone bankrupt. Taxpayers lose billions. JP Morgan and other investment banks move into ruined Greece and loan them a shitload of money to 'help them get on their feet again'. And the cycle will repeat.

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Date:2015-03-18 19:59

There was a very amusing observation on the Channel 4 news tonight about the Chancellor's vague uptick in economic output in the country.

Apparently the slight improvement in the economic numbers can be purely explained in terms of the arrival of 500,000 immigrants from Eastern Europe.

... how much do you bet we won't hear a single politician mention that?

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Date:2015-03-18 15:34

I had a thought about the Gamergate movement.

The way they talk about and to women, the constant rape threats and violence, the utter contempt. I was wondering if this Gamergate movement might be the first signs of a generation that has grown up from a very early age on a diet of hardcore internet pornography?

Because a lot of what they say and how they talk, sounds an awful lot like the stuff you hear in the porno world.

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Date:2015-03-18 11:49

Damn, Netanyahu won.

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Date:2015-03-18 00:46

Aurora alert tonight. Right now in fact.

Cloudy as fuck here of course, nothing to see. But you might be luckier.

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Date:2015-03-17 15:18

Spotted on Tumblr.


Given the sudden interest for the color of dresses and vision, here some of the fascinating findings we did recently.

The color nuances we see depend on the number and distribution of cones (=color receptors) in our eye. You can check this rainbow: how many color nuances do you count?

You see less than 20 color nuances: you are a dichromats, like dogs, which means you have 2 types of cones only. You are likely to wear black, beige, and blue. 25% of the population is dichromat.

You see between 20 and 32 color nuances: you are a trichromat, you have 3 types of cones (in the purple/blue, green and red area). You enjoy different colors as you can appreciate them. 50% of the population is trichromat.

You see between 33 and 39 colors: you are a tetrachromat, like bees, and have 4 types of cones (in the purple/blue, green, red plus yellow area). You are irritated by yellow, so this color will be nowhere to be found in your wardrobe. 25% of the population is tetrachromat.

You see more than 39 color nuances: come on, you are making up things! there are only 39 different colors in the test and probably only 35 are properly translated by your computer screen anyway :)

It is highly probable that people who have an additional 4th cone do not get tricked by blue/black or white/gold dresses, no matter the background light ;)

Poll #2004012 Colour Poll.

How many colours can you see?

Less than 20.
Between 20 - 32.

I assume it doesn't count the lighter shades at the top and bottom of the bars of colour.

I'm not entirely convinced by it, I could see 39. So I thought I'd create an entirely scientific poll to get a wider range of data points. :)

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Date:2015-03-16 20:54

The Walking Dead is such a better programme when stuff actually happens.

I swear, more happened in this weeks episode than the last 3 put together.

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Date:2015-03-16 20:01

Holy shitbags. Nobody knows whose decision it was to commission these two aircraft carriers.

And they've been built to accomodate 45 aircraft, and 25 or so helicopters.

They'll be deployed with 6 aircraft, and maybe 6 helicopters.

It's just....

I have no words.

And that's IF the F35B is ever airworthy, which it probably won't be, because at the moment it's an aircraft significantly worse than the Harrier.

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